{"title":"Brutal Basics","description":"\u003cp\u003eEat your vegetables. Stay hydrated. Respect my bedtime.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBrutal Basics gives everyday priorities the death metal treatment—bold, twisted lettering delivering surprisingly reasonable demands. For the homebodies, the coaster enforcers, and anyone who wants to look intimidating while staying cozy as fuck.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it loud. Be home before nine.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"indoor-voices-please-crewneck-sweatshirt-death-metal-typography","title":"Indoor Voices, Please Crewneck Sweatshirt | Death Metal Typography","description":"\u003cp\u003eNothing is louder than death metal lettering asking everyone to quiet down. This black Indoor Voices, Please crewneck sweatshirt makes the request anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThree stacked lines of thorned white type cover the chest at maximum volume and minimum decibels. Wear it to the library, a coffee shop full of laptops, or any family gathering where someone just discovered their outside voice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium-heavy 8.0 oz\/yd² (271 g\/m²) 50\/50 cotton-polyester blend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic fit with a ribbed-knit collar and reinforced cuffs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-needle stitching at the shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband, and cuffs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSeamless body with a gray pearlized tear-away label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite front print, printed to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize and care\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in black, sizes S–4XL. Compare these measurements with a similar piece you already own before choosing a size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.01\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSleeve length (from center back), in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e36.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e39.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNon-chlorine bleach as needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not dry-clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePick your size. Then use your inside voice.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 18000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: Made in Nicaragua, For adults\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49146878623929,"sku":"46881977897175365520","price":43.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49146878656697,"sku":"84150647078392402660","price":43.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49146878689465,"sku":"23574271294098590482","price":43.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49146878722233,"sku":"19090396930218178731","price":43.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49146878755001,"sku":"24241559824060741220","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49146878787769,"sku":"17392679130683121498","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49146878820537,"sku":"23078304741354946680","price":51.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0804\/1630\/9433\/files\/20260913013034-1f1af12b-7433-62aa-b0cc-9a6b67bf8c69.png?v=1789449859"},{"product_id":"dont-touch-the-thermostat-crewneck-sweatshirt-death-metal-typography","title":"Don't Touch the Thermostat Crewneck Sweatshirt | Death Metal Typography","description":"\u003cp\u003eHousehold climate policy, delivered in death metal typography. This black Don't Touch the Thermostat crewneck sweatshirt settles the argument before it starts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSpiked white lettering spreads across the chest with the intensity of a sacred warning, and it's about one degree. The medium-heavy cotton-poly blend keeps you warm enough that you won't need to touch it either. Wear it around the house, at an office with arctic air conditioning, or anywhere the setting isn't up for discussion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium-heavy 8.0 oz\/yd² (271 g\/m²) 50\/50 cotton-polyester blend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic fit with a ribbed-knit collar and reinforced cuffs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-needle stitching at the shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband, and cuffs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSeamless body with a gray pearlized tear-away label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite front print, printed to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize and care\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in black, sizes S–4XL. Compare these measurements with a similar piece you already own before choosing a size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.01\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSleeve length (from center back), in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e36.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e37.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e39.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNon-chlorine bleach as needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not dry-clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePick your size. Leave the dial alone.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 18000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: Made in Nicaragua, For adults\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49146879606969,"sku":"31158964959978847668","price":43.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49146879639737,"sku":"32331480953624458631","price":43.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49146879672505,"sku":"25112498466760145229","price":43.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49146879705273,"sku":"20617646421448644080","price":43.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49146879738041,"sku":"22098291443645760976","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49146879770809,"sku":"11332983278178521897","price":46.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49146879803577,"sku":"14661183617156139389","price":51.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0804\/1630\/9433\/files\/20260913014321-1f1af148-0448-68a6-b51f-f23c18aa3820.png?v=1789449864"},{"product_id":"respect-my-bedtime-hoodie-death-metal-typography","title":"Respect My Bedtime Hoodie | Death Metal Typography","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome boundaries are best stated in death metal typography. This black Respect My Bedtime hoodie makes yours clear before anyone suggests one more episode.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThorned white lettering spreads across the chest like a warning carved into a door, and the warning is about sleep. The heavy cotton-poly blend and double-lined hood make an early night the most comfortable plan in the room. Wear it on the couch, on the walk home, or while declining plans with a clear conscience.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium-heavy 8.0 oz\/yd² (271 g\/m²) 50\/50 cotton-polyester blend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-lined hood with a color-matched drawcord\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront pouch pocket\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem with a classic unisex fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite front print, printed to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize and care\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in black, sizes S–5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNon-chlorine bleach as needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry medium\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not dry-clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePick your size. Lights out at ten.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 18500, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: medium, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49146880131257,"sku":"13482224667189350193","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49146880164025,"sku":"28874991921515877158","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49146880196793,"sku":"31868158755148961769","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49146880229561,"sku":"33128061220405581921","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49146880262329,"sku":"17202841246596189763","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49146880295097,"sku":"22569569662418092036","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49146880327865,"sku":"29201056067602847931","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49146880360633,"sku":"27636645494347732522","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0804\/1630\/9433\/files\/20260913012319-1f1af11b-44b1-6f6e-9a6d-7a85252375e6.png?v=1789449869"},{"product_id":"cozy-as-fuck-hoodie-death-metal-typography","title":"Cozy as Fuck Hoodie | Death Metal Typography","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome hoodies are cozy. This one tells you exactly how cozy. The black Cozy as Fuck hoodie makes the claim across the chest in spiked white death metal lettering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe typography looks ready to start a mosh pit. The hoodie underneath, a medium-heavy cotton-poly blend with a double-lined hood and a front pouch pocket, would rather start a nap. Wear it on cold mornings, long flights, or any evening that ends under a blanket.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMedium-heavy 8.0 oz\/yd² (271 g\/m²) 50\/50 cotton-polyester blend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDouble-lined hood with a color-matched drawcord\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront pouch pocket\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed cuffs and hem with a classic unisex fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite front print, printed to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize and care\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in black, sizes S–5XL.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNon-chlorine bleach as needed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry medium\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not dry-clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChoose your size. The couch is waiting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 18500, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: medium, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49146880458937,"sku":"27324434188231750421","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49146880491705,"sku":"20469348642528644283","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49146880524473,"sku":"15053639436517911603","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49146880557241,"sku":"45349409809554113557","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49146880590009,"sku":"14487666035764373466","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49146880622777,"sku":"73113466171584465686","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49146880655545,"sku":"24184782286454114907","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49146880688313,"sku":"30132399229878201902","price":52.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0804\/1630\/9433\/files\/20260913014617-1f1af14e-9732-6b3e-bdf7-320f8e13c2f4.png?v=1789449871"},{"product_id":"stay-hydrated-t-shirt-death-metal-typography","title":"Stay Hydrated T-Shirt | Death Metal Typography","description":"\u003cp\u003eA very aggressive reminder to drink some water. This black Stay Hydrated T-shirt spells out basic self-care in thorned white death metal lettering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe spikes suggest something ancient and furious. The message suggests a refill. Wear it to the gym, on a long drive, or anywhere you keep forgetting the water bottle is already in your bag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton, lightweight 4.5 oz\/yd² (153 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic unisex fit with a ribbed crew neck that resists curling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNo side seams, with twill-taped shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePearlized tear-away label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite front print, printed to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize and care\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in black, sizes S–2XL. Compare these measurements with a similar piece you already own before choosing a size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F) with similar colors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not dry-clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChoose your size. Then go refill that glass.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49146880819385,"sku":"94258956607764947784","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49146880852153,"sku":"20111612584641976911","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49146880884921,"sku":"79711729221115332365","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49146880917689,"sku":"22437035741507228849","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49146880950457,"sku":"18604884558969585485","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0804\/1630\/9433\/files\/20260913021420-1f1af18d-4468-6afe-9f00-6e06db1acfbe.png?v=1789449919"},{"product_id":"please-use-a-coaster-t-shirt-death-metal-typography","title":"Please Use a Coaster T-Shirt | Death Metal Typography","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis black Please Use a Coaster T-shirt protects your furniture with the menace it deserves. The request is polite. The white death metal lettering is not.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThorned letters crawl across the chest like they're guarding a crypt, when really they're guarding a coffee table. Wear it to host game night, to a friend's new apartment, or anywhere a sweating glass is one careless moment from leaving a ring.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton, lightweight 4.5 oz\/yd² (153 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic unisex fit with a ribbed crew neck that resists curling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNo side seams, with twill-taped shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePearlized tear-away label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite front print, printed to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize and care\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in black, sizes S–2XL. Compare these measurements with a similar piece you already own before choosing a size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F) with similar colors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not dry-clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePick a size. The wood finish thanks you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49146887143609,"sku":"11783851320877954990","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49146887176377,"sku":"23958950203376342158","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49146887209145,"sku":"25381350707514819591","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49146887241913,"sku":"11708343576895625855","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49146887274681,"sku":"21111678825671973332","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0804\/1630\/9433\/files\/20260913021317-1f1af18a-d458-6374-bd99-6aceb89eb012.png?v=1789449925"},{"product_id":"home-before-nine-t-shirt-death-metal-typography","title":"Home Before Nine T-Shirt | Death Metal Typography","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe lettering says midnight ritual. The message says home before nine. This black Home Before Nine T-shirt is for anyone whose late night ends well before the headliner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSpiked white death metal typography spreads across the chest with all the drama of an after-hours crowd, entirely in service of a reasonable bedtime. Wear it to early dinners, matinees, or the party you plan to leave first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton, lightweight 4.5 oz\/yd² (153 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic unisex fit with a ribbed crew neck that resists curling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNo side seams, with twill-taped shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePearlized tear-away label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite front print, printed to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize and care\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in black, sizes S–2XL. Compare these measurements with a similar piece you already own before choosing a size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F) with similar colors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not dry-clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eChoose your size and be in bed at a respectable hour.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49146887995577,"sku":"65606874477120715446","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49146888028345,"sku":"73323273458300677311","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49146888061113,"sku":"54146390463526517650","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49146888093881,"sku":"24376350941589197973","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49146888126649,"sku":"33927320810253201602","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0804\/1630\/9433\/files\/20260913021455-1f1af18e-96c9-6900-9015-6a86aee65229.png?v=1789449928"},{"product_id":"eat-your-vegetables-t-shirt-death-metal-typography","title":"Eat Your Vegetables T-Shirt | Death Metal Typography","description":"\u003cp\u003eYour mother was right. This black Eat Your Vegetables T-shirt just delivers her advice in death metal typography.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe spiked white lettering looks like it belongs on a flyer for a very loud basement show. Read it closely and it wants you to finish your broccoli. Wear it to the grocery store, the farmers market, or any dinner where someone is pushing peas around the plate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% ring-spun cotton, lightweight 4.5 oz\/yd² (153 g\/m²)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic unisex fit with a ribbed crew neck that resists curling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNo side seams, with twill-taped shoulders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePearlized tear-away label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhite front print, printed to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize and care\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in black, sizes XS–5XL. Compare these measurements with a similar piece you already own before choosing a size.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eXS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e3XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e4XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e5XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWidth, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e16.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eLength, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e27.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35.00\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSleeve length, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e7.99\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.23\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.74\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9.02\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9.25\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9.49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9.72\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e9.96\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eSize tolerance, in\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e1.50\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold (max 30°C \/ 90°F) with similar colors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIron, steam, or dry on low heat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not dry-clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePick your size. Make your next responsible decision look deeply irresponsible.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ XS","offer_id":49146888224953,"sku":"12704163309389530210","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":49146888257721,"sku":"30524920912343506549","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":49146888290489,"sku":"14374011041382463766","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":49146888323257,"sku":"10140193133546534218","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":49146888356025,"sku":"29232159662904592935","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":49146888388793,"sku":"17010574821627723791","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":49146888421561,"sku":"15522951306859990632","price":27.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":49146888454329,"sku":"19111352971262119078","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":49146888487097,"sku":"76937201291601215909","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0804\/1630\/9433\/files\/20260913021556-1f1af190-d710-63fe-bf06-5aff80b2af2a.png?v=1789449937"}],"url":"https:\/\/gothgiggle.com\/collections\/brutal-basics.oembed","provider":"Goth Giggle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}