Brutal Basics

Eat your vegetables. Stay hydrated. Respect my bedtime.

Brutal Basics gives everyday priorities the death metal treatment—bold, twisted lettering delivering surprisingly reasonable demands. For the homebodies, the coaster enforcers, and anyone who wants to look intimidating while staying cozy as fuck.

Wear it loud. Be home before nine.

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  • Eat Your Vegetables T-Shirt

    Eat Your Vegetables T-Shirt

    $24.99
  • Home Before Nine T-Shirt

    Home Before Nine T-Shirt

    $24.99
  • Please Use a Coaster T-Shirt

    Please Use a Coaster T-Shirt

    $24.99
  • Stay Hydrated T-Shirt

    Stay Hydrated T-Shirt

    $24.99
  • Cozy as Fuck Hoodie

    Cozy as Fuck Hoodie

    $49.99
  • Respect My Bedtime Hoodie

    Respect My Bedtime Hoodie

    $49.99
  • Don't Touch the Thermostat Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Don't Touch the Thermostat Crewneck Sweatshirt

    $43.99
  • Indoor Voices, Please Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Indoor Voices, Please Crewneck Sweatshirt

    $43.99